Unconditional
by missweirdinabox
Summary: Gail and Holly after 510. A little Nick/Andy/Dov and bombing, too. Have never done anything like this (fanfiction or writing in English orwriting on cops) but I m really a little obsessed with these two and tried to figure out an open happy ending for the season. So please don t get mad at mistakes and stuff :-/.


Unconditional

Sometimes a blink of an eye was long enough to make one feel like the whole world had changed. Gail Peck knew about that. She had experienced it before. It was part of her job. Like last year when division 15 had been under attack and Sam and Chloe had nearly died. Just nearly. But when a man could just walk into a police office and start shooting around one would feel the fragility of life.

Or like when a little girl not too long ago had walked in on Gail while she was just trying to keep herself from grieving for a woman she hadn´t even known.

Now there it was again. A bang coming out of the division 15 building so loud Gail for a second was afraid she would never hear again. Flames. Smoke. Fire. She and Dov ran in. They were late. It was too late.

The next hour (or were it hours?) Gail skipped to what felt to her as robot mood. She was the police. She had to work. So she did. Even if this time it was Nick. He was still alive. But hell. He had been hit hard. And it nearly had gotten Andy, too, who had been lucky as it seemed at least. Just a few bruises and scratches but the fact Nick had nearly died saving her life and maybe still would had messed her up.

Gail, Dov and a few other officers arrested the man who had put the bomb into the building just a few minutes after the explosion. He didn´t try to escape. Some took care of getting Nick and Andy to the Hospital. Some secured the crime scene. Some even started doing the paper work. It was their job. It all felt like slow motion. They then finally rushed to the hospital. The Doctor said McNally was fine but Collins had suffered bad injuries and they still didn´t know if he was going to make it through the night. When Andy walked out to wait with them Gail couldn´t keep herself from hugging her even if Andy hardly reacted. It was Nick, in the end.

Last time Andy had hugged Gail was just before they stopped calling each other friends. But in a weird, strange way, Gail now felt grateful for what had happened between her and Nick and Andy. Like, what would have been if it hadn´t happened? She sure was aware that things with Holly and her were – well, messed up right now, just again. Still, would she even have met Holly if it hadn´t been for Nick falling for Andy? Would she even have noticed her? Would she have talked to her?

She had told her today. Not that she had planned to do so. Not that way at least. Sometimes things just happened. Holly had shown up at the station earlier today, because, off course she had, she had just wanted to have a look at Gail, just wanted to make sure she was still alive. Gail felt uncomfortable about it. Because, of course she did, in the end she was Gail, but mostly because she hadn´t told her yet. It was not alright. It was not fine. She just couldn´t bear having Holly around like everything was back on track while once she told her Holly might just leave her standing right where she was. Of course, Holly felt something was weird even if she couldn´t figure it out. Gail could tell from her look. Then things really got messy when Dov passed by saying something like:"Hey there. So that´s why you checked on your phone every thirty seconds yesterday? She must have really missed you, Holly." And he kept passing by leaving a very awkward silence behind. Gail felt like she could see thoughts running wild behind Hollies frowned forehead. Seconds passed until Holly finally asked. "What´s going on here?" Gail took a step back. "Well, Holly. I wanted to tell you tonight…" Hollies countenance more and more seemed out of control. Gail slightly shook her head. She wasn´t ready to do it. But what choice did she have? "It´s not as you think. I´m… I might be going to adopt a child." Some more seconds passed until Holly finally answered "So... Seriously? This is happening?" Gail just did a little nod. "Well…", Holly meddled with her glasses, obviously she avoided looking straightforward at Gail. "I-em… That´s big?" "Holly. I know it´s… It´s not a minor matter. But it hasn´t changed anything I´ve said." Gail didn´t want to tell anything more about the way she felt. Holly performed something that could only be called confusion, like she wanted to say something, but she didn´t, or she wanted to come closer, but she didn´t, or she wanted to leave, but she didn´t, making Gail feel totally uncomfortable. Still, Gail knew she wouldn´t step back from it. "You know, I guess we both got work to take care of. Just…" Gail smiled a fake smile that made her face hurt, "I guess I´ll see you around." Holly mumbled an "Okay… I´ll call you later? May… Maybe…?" "Yeah right. Goodbye Holly." It had been Gail who then had turned away, but she had felt miserable doing it. Not that it felt like another breakup. But then again it did.

Now that she was here, waiting to hear if her ex-fiancé was still alive, she tried to put her thoughts together. She really regretted the way her last talk with Holly had turned out, she wished to call Sophie, but the little girl was in bed sleeping, and she wished to call Holly, but she couldn´t. She didn´t even dare to turn on her phone because waiting for a call that might just not happen or, alternatively and even worse, going through some "I know you had a bad day but I´m not one for dating mommies"-talk would have made her feel even more miserable than she already did. Gail hadn´t felt good too often in her life. But with Holly everything had been so different. She couldn´t even explain it. Like, before Holly Gail had felt bad so often and whenever she did something to make herself feel better it could easily happen it did make her feel like shit. She remembered her feelings for Chris and also for Nick as something she could still call love, but then it hadn´t been like what she felt for Holly at all. She had admired and desired and laughed with them as well, in some way, but then again there had been something beneath that she had never been able to shake off. Like the feeling she had to hide the wretched creature underneath her skin. Like the feeling she was acting. Like the expectation of being deceived or humiliated or abandoned any other minute. But when Holly had looked at her she had been better. She had been good, actually. She had felt like Holly looked right through her and didn´t see anything wretched at all but something like… Gail didn´t want to think about it. That had been before Lisa had messed with her head. But still and no matter what, when Gail stood before Holly looking into those deep brown eyes, she felt it all the same. It was like something that was just there. It was good. And whatever and ever would happen, whatever things they would do, whatever words they would say, Gail could not imagine one day it wouldn´t be there any longer. It was something she felt when she was with Sophie, too. Well, in a different way off course. It was good. It was worth fighting for. And it was unconditional.

Gail got her phone out of her bag. Her fingers felt cold while she turned it on. She had looked at her mobile for at least thirty seconds. Before it finally jingled. Three missed calls. Holly. She had called. Gail took a deep breath. Then she dialed. Holly answered immediately: "Are you alright?" "I guess so. I´m just…" Gail bit her lip. She felt like crying and she wasn´t one for crying really. "Where are you? Are you at the Hospital? I´ll take you… I´ll fetch you home. If you want me to." "Yeah I… I want you to."

After hanging up Gail felt like she was about to collapse if she didn´t move. She stood up to leave the waiting room and catch some fresh air. The sky outside was black and dark - darker than she had ever seen it in Toronto. She looked up. There were so many stars. She now stood still. All she did was breathing until she could feel Holly right behind her even if she couldn´t see her. All of her warmth. All of her beauty. Gail turned around and there she was with those eyes and that smile and everything Holly was. Gail couldn´t keep herself from running or stumbling into Hollies arms. They had a lot to talk about. But just not now. Holly held Gails face with that tenderness only Holly had ever given to her and when they kissed it tasted like everything - tooth paste and fire and fear and sex and fragility but before all that it tasted like tenderness. It was good. And however this story was going to turn out and however they would deal with it it would be good. It would be unconditional.


End file.
